Self-Sabotage versus Self-Care

You know you should stop eating chips, cookies, and chocolate!!

You know should implement physical exercise in your daily routine.

You know you should take action, and sometimes, you do, but somehow you just can’t be consistent with your commitment to truly care for yourself.

I hear you wondering, “Why am I doing this to myself?”


This is a really good question. Indeed, you know that you can do better than get into this self-destructing pattern where you overeat, don’t exercise, gain more weight and become depressed.

You need to realize that your self-destructive behavior, even if it rationally doesn’t seem to be “the best choice”, serves you to some extent. Yes, you read this right! You sabotage yourself, because it protects you from your own fears.

For instance, you tell yourself that you can’t get that perfect job because you are too fat.  But if you were trim and you didn’t get it, then it might just mean that you were just not good enough for the position. You would take this as a personal rejection, and that hurts too much; therefore, you prefer to stay overweight, and have a more superficial excuse. This way of thinking can apply to your love life, or any of your personal relationships. The idea is that you cannot face what would happen if you were to lose the weight and be rejected while at “your best”.

Being overweight is like a shield. If you drop it, your life changes, and change is one of the scariest things for the human mind. We all have the natural tendency to anticipate difficulties rather than good surprises. When you realize that your fears are just a creation from your mind, which have no roots in reality, you can then consciously decide to overcome your self-sabotage.

How? Give yourself permission to succeed. Allow yourself to reach your healthy lifestyle and lose your extra weight. Start caring for yourself, for real.

If you want to learn more about the Bellsai weight loss method, I invite you to take my Free 5-Keys to Successful Weight-Loss e-course:
You’re welcome to use this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the “About The Author” info below:)

About the Author:

Isabelle Johansen is a life coach specialized in helping people address their overeating and weight loss challenges.  She is the Founder of Bellsai Mindful Weight Loss and She coaches individually and in groups, and lead weight management classes at top Silicon Valley companies and the YMCA. Her clients gain a more positive outlook on their life, feel more centered and happy as they lose weight without struggle with the Bellsai Method.  To learn more go to:

Her free 5 Keys to Successful Weight Loss eCourse is available at

Copyright @2010  Isabelle Johansen. All rights reserved.


2 Responses to “Self-Sabotage versus Self-Care”

  1. PJ Norton Says:

    All the above is me. I turned 60 in June and feel my personal life is over. I have a great business and have been told all my life how pretty or beautiful I am. I have a tendency to bing on ice cream and sweets when I get stressed or feel defeated. Today, I say I want to just be a healthy weight and feel good. If that is true, then, why do I keep sabatoging myself every time I get close to my goal on a good eating program. Of course, that is a retorical question when I know why. I have tried every diet. hate exercise( yet I spent $400.00 on palates machine recently). This morning I saw my mother when I looked in the mirror ….. she put on alot of weight, at my age.
    I always said I would never let myself go like that. Anyway……that is my response. I am very discouraged at this moment.

    • Bellsai Says:

      Thank you for your trust; also, I want to acknowledge you: it takes courage to share the way you did.
      I believe I understand how you feel. Here are two ideas that might be helpful:
      1) I hear that you feel stressed and defeated; yet, did you acknowledge that you were doing something about this condition? You are reaching out. You’ve tried every diet but by writing this comment, you broke a cycle that didn’t work for you: Stress => Binge eating => putting on weight => diet => stress => … That is a critical step. You‘ll keep on getting the same results if you keep on doing the same things. You are breaking that pattern!
      2) You are questioning the why of your behavior. “Why am I self-sabotaging?” Self sabotage implies that there’re two parts of you fighting: I assume, the one wanting to be healthy and the one wanting immediate stress release through food. It sounds like you resent that second part of you that makes you put on weight and try to fight it so it doesn’t show up anymore. Now think of this: when two parts of YOU are fighting, who’s winning? Whichever part that wins, YOU, as a whole, cannot win! So, as paradoxical as it may seem, it is only when you have accepted those different parts of you and made peace with them that you won’t have that inner fight and therefore won’t self-sabotage anymore.
      I just emphasized two ideas based on my understanding of what you wrote, to not write a novel 🙂 I hope this helps. Accepting these different parts of you is a critical work. Keep in mind that you can decide to reinvent yourself at each second. You don’t have to follow your old patterns. It starts with becoming aware of them, which you are. Good luck and let me know if you have further questions.

      For more assistance, read my articles at and register for my free eCourse at

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